Daryll reminded me at 1:00am Friday night (Saturday morning?) that Tom K's funeral mass was Saturday morning at 9:00am at St Patrick's in Lawrence. That's a 45 minute to an hour drive, so we got up at 7:00am (in the pouring rain, mind you), showered and dressed, and drove to Lawrence. Parked in front of the church at 8:55am and dashed inside, just in time. I saw the hearse and said wow, they used Cautadella - I thought for sure they'd use Plonowski. (All the Post people use Plonowski.)

The funeral director was already inside with the coffin blocking the center doors inside the church and there were about 20 people in the vestibule. So we waited. I looked for Arlene (Tom's wife) and she wasn't there so I figured she had already gone in to sit down. I didn't see anyone else I knew but we were there kind of late.

So the coffin starts going down the aisle and we all follow after it. We're last in line, so we get just inside the center doors as the priest says, "...and he is now with Jeannette." Daryll & I look at each other and I thought, well, maybe Jeannette is some relative of Tom's who already died, or maybe Jeannette is his patron saint, or something, so we keep going.

The coffin starts down the aisle again and the priest says, "Lord, have mercy on the soul of your servant Jeannette..." and we look at each other again and Daryll hisses, "Sit in the last pew. SIT IN THE LAST PEW...". So I make a quick left turn towards the last pew and when I pause to genuflect he trips over me. Talk about stealthy.

Anyway, we sit down and the priest continues on with poor departed Jeannette's funeral mass and Daryll whispers, "I'll go out the side door...wait a little while and follow me." He slips out. I figure to wait a minute or two before I leave but just then the priest says, "LET US PRAY," and I figured if everyone had their eyes closed and heads bowed it was the perfect time to leave without being seen.

We dashed back out to the car (still in the pouring rain) and he calls his mother. She answers the telephone. (This is our next sign that something is not quite right.) "Ma, what time is Tom's funeral mass?" She says, "It's at St Patrick's, at 11:00am."

11:00am. Oops.

Have you ever noticed that when you take a dislike to someone, everything they do drives you nuts?

And it's not necessarily something that, if someone else were to do it, would drive you nuts. No, it's just them. Or perhaps it's just me.

Today I'm onto hand washing. Here's the way I wash my hands: turn on water, wet hands, apply soap, wash, rinse hands, turn off water, dry hands. Seems pretty simple, doesn't it?

Evidently not for her. Every time I go into the powder room, the taps are slimy with hand soap. I don't know how she does it. Does she turn on the taps after applying the hand soap? Does she rinse insufficiently? Will I ever figure this out? Or should I just leave the water running while I dry my hands, and then use the paper towel to turn off the water? This is wasteful. But is the environment more important than my sanity?